Relaxing for a change

Today was a nice easy day...a nice change. Got to watch the entire Giants/Dodgers game, wash both cars, and have a great dinner: steak, corn, al dente vegetables, and a nice mellow 1993 Renaissance cab.

I remember when we visited this winery. My folks were still alive and my dad had read about it in the paper. He wasn't so much interested in the wine, as the fact that they were making wine in Yolo county. So my folks, Judi, and I took a trip over there. When we got there it was like a fortress without walls. A guard hut at the entrance, and they seemed non-plussed that we would show up without an appointment. After a bit of a wait, they allowed us in, but "you have to stay on the road. Go right to the tasting room and don't stop between here and there."

So we stopped off when we saw a gorgeous rose garden. We walked around for a while, then went to the tasting room. When we got there, clearly they had been timing us, because, they asked how it had taken us to long to get there. There were other people in the tasting room, so I was able to poke around a little, and I found an open door, which led to an amazing little concert hall, which was all set up for a performance of a baroue chamber opera which was to happen that night. Lovely acoustics, and really top quality instruments.

I slipped back into the tasting room very impressed. The vines were terraced along the (foot)hill sides, and the wines were tasty. So we bought some, and went home talking about whether or not it was a cult disguised as a winery. No conclusion there, but the wines have held up quite well. And, for about 5 years or so, I would regularly get calls from a guy named Joseph, who would offer me "deals" on the wine. Strange in many ways...

End of the week and month...

but, more to the point, it has been deadline week, and the mag is set to go to the printers. It is always and exhausting week when the mag deadline comes around. There are ads to chase and authors to explain edits to. This time it was complicated by my being gone all last week. No fun. But the good news is that whenever an issue is put to bed,  I can begin to think about other stuff...(well, tomorrow anyway...)

Mag deadline week

Every couple of months Judi and I go through our modified version of "hell week" during the week that that magazine is being prepared for the printer. You'd think it would get easier, but it doesn't, because the ads (and sometimes the articles) seem to come in at the last minute...no mater when that last minute is.

I needed to get away from the computer tonight, so we went to the Olive Garden and brought a wonderful bottle of 2006 Ridge Pagani Ranch Zin. It went well with the ravs and the lasangna rotella...

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig

...which is one of my favorite lines from the movie Blade Runner, delivered by William Sanderson. It has been somewhat of a long slog since January, and I've averaged being gone at least one week a month between then and now. So it is good to be home for a while. I don't know how people like my friend Joe Martin do it. Joe is on the road about 200 days a year...yikes! In any event, I can get back to doing some planning now, and begin to make some decisions. Stay tuned...

The best laid plans...

Yesterday was a rest & recovery day from my trip to Kansas City. It was great to stay an extra night and have a visit with good friend Doug Lawrence and his family. I think I first met Doug while he was working at San Mateo Pres, and I was at Trinity in San Carlos. Over the years Doug and I have worked together on a whole bunch of projects, the first of which was the Sing! family of newsletters, which, in it's own way was a critical development in the way church music ministries communicated together and with each other. Two other friends were involved in Sing!: Allan Petker and Ed Lindquist. Doug and Margie plan to be at the party, so if you plan to come, make sure and find him (it won't be hard...he's the one that looks a bit like a bear and has the huge (and wonderful) baritone voice...).

Planning your trip: part 5

To finish this week/series off, I'd like to let you know about some "offbeat" things you can see or do while you are here.

There are a number of very nice walking/hiking trails close at hand. One of our favorites is the trail (that's a misnomer...most of it is a paved/boardwalk) from Oso Flaco ("skinny bear") Lake to the ocean.

There are, of course a number of beaches, including the famous Pismo Beach. There is also a lovely little beach in Guadalupe, which is much less crowded.

Guadalupe also has one of my favorite restaurants: La Simpatia Cafe. Let me put it this way: they have the best chile rellenos I've ever had...and I don't chile rellenos much, because of the egg batter...and I don't like gravy...and I've never even heard of chile rellenos with gravy. But they are incredibly good. It's what the locals eat. Going in there is like stepping back in time...with all that it implies, including no web site.

Neither does our local steak place institution, Jockos. But you can read the reviews here. Caution: not much on ambience, but great meat. Make a reservation, but be prepared to wait anyway.

Which leads to a side note. Around here there are two things to know. We have a unique bar b que style: Santa Maria Bar b que. It involves high heat, the tri tip cut of meat, and grilling at some distance from the fire. Often it is served with salsa, but I like it plain. yum.

The second thing is that most (not all) restaurants serve enough food to feed an army. Judi and I routinely split an entree, and get the "extra plate" small charge for a second salad, baked potato, and dessert (that's right...old style, including an antipasta plate).

There are a ton of upscale restaurants in San Luis. You can get a complete list of SLO restaurants here.

But I said "offbeat," and I've wandered into food, so I don't want to imply that any of the restaurants (except Simpatia, perhaps) is offbeat. Let's get back to the topic:

Two more things. Very near where we are, there is one of the largest areas on the Pacific Coast to ride your vehicle on the beach (4wd recommended). You can rent dune buggies, and even camp on the beach if you're so inclined. Find out more here.

Finally, the thing that tops the weirdness meter...figuratively right across the street from our house is a luffa farm. I can't even explain this adequately. Just read about it here. They are nice people, by the way, and it was interesting to visit.

Next week? Where to stay.

Planning your trip: part 4

Yesterday I talked about the golf opportunities...today we'll talk about wine tasting.

Most of you know that I'm involved in making home made wine. I don't do the chemistry...that's done by my Geyserville friend Kurt Kaufman, whom you can meet if you come to the party. I just buy the fruit. We make Sonoma County wine. But there is wine being made in the Central Coast area as well...very good wine.

I've already talked about this a bit, but if you are travelling north to south along 101, stopping in the Paso/Templeton area will be worth your while if you like wine. Here's a link to the overview site. Some of my favorites up there are Bishop's Peak, Rotta, and especially Dover Canyon.

If you are travelling south to north along 101, stopping in the Los Olivos (Sideways) area is also very worthwhile.

But you probably want to know about what is closer at hand. The primary area near us is Edna Valley, and there is a good site for all the SLO wineries. Edna Valley is known for great Chardonnay and Pinot.

Specifically I would visit...
Within 5 minutes of the house is Laetitia (pinot & champagne). A little further away (20 minutes) in Edna Valley there is Tolosa (chardonnay), Talley (pinot), Edna Valley (my favorite chardonnay), Wolff (Teroldego), and Saucelito Canyon (zins and rhone style wines).

Cheers!

Planning your trip: part 3

Once you get here, you'll want to know what there is to do. Up today? For golfers...

We live in a golf course community. Blacklake has 27 holes, and most days they rotate which 18 are in play which means that each course gets a sabbatical at least once a week. Essentially across the street is Monarch Dunes, which has a regulation 18 hole "old" course, plus a unique 12 (that's right, 12) hole "Challenge" course. Still want more? Less than 5 minutes away is Cypress Ridge and if that is still not enough, Blacklake has a sister relationship with the Avila Beach Golf Resort, and a special where you can play both courses at a reduced rate.

So let's summarize: 75 holes within  5 minutes of our house, plus a special deal on 18 more right near the beach. There are also courses in San Luis and Santa Maria as well, so if you're a golfer...bring your clubs.

Planning your trip: part 2

If you are flying to get here, you'll probably want to rent a car. If you choose to come into Santa Barbara or the big city airports, you can plan a trip along the coast. Possible stops include:

From the north, travelling south on the coast:

Monterey/my maternal grandparent's traditional vacation spot Pacific Grove/Carmel: Monterey has the aquarium and cannery row, Pacific Grove is a lovely little residential/beach access, and, for golfers, no more need to be said about Carmel, home of Pebble.

Big Sur: famous, and can be inaccessible unless you have time to explore

Hearst Castle: Th is is definitely worth seeing, and there are multiple tours. I believe they still won't let you do more than 2 in one day, so if you are interested in this kind of thing, spend the night at San Simeon.

Cambria/Cayucos/Harmony/Morro Bay: artsy/funky little coastal towns

travelling south on 101

Paso Robles/Templeton (the church I serve is here)/San Luis Obispo: central coast wine country. At this time of year, Paso and Templeton tend to be hot, so be forewarned.

From the south, travelling north along the coast

Santa Monica/Malibu: if you've watched TV in the last 50 years, you know...

Santa Barbara: 'nuff said...

Solvang/Los Olivos/Buellton: Little Denmark, Sideways (the movie) wine country, and road landmark Pea Soup Andersons.

More trip planning info tomorrow...

Planning your trip: part 1

Since I am at a conference all this week, and I don't know how much control I will have over my time, I'm preparing a series of "details" posts. Today's topic is how to get here.

We live on California's beautiful Central Coast, in San Luis Obispo county (the SLOCoast), where the weather is among the world's finest. On the other hand, we're not located on the beaten track. Frankly, the best way to get here is to drive...and if you haven't driven down/up the California coast from SF/LA to LA/SF, it is something you should do once in your life. Our house is in a golf course community (more on that in a later post) about equidistant between highway 1 (the Pacific Coast Highway, or PCH in the current trendspeak) and highway 101 in the southern part of the county.

The three closest airports, for those coming from a distance, are (in proximity order):
San Luis Obispo Airport: SBP (about 30 minutes)
Santa Maria Airport: SMX (about 30 minutes)
Santa Barbara Airport: SBA (about 90 minutes)

If you want to get as close as possible by plane, I suggest SBP. But both SBP, and the smaller SBX, are mostly served by turboprop planes, and, essentially only two carriers: United and USAir, which flys (at the moment) two small jets in each (week)day from Phoenix. There are a limited number of seats each day, so if you plan to fly to either of these airports, I strongly suggest you book early.

The alternative, for those who have time, is to fly into LAX (about 2.5 hours away) Long Beach (3 hours) or Burbank (2.5 hours), or any of the Bay Area airports: SFO (3.5 hours), SJC (about 3 hours), or OAK (3.5 hours). NOTE: all driving times are Vern at the wheel, with no traffic.

More tomorrow...

On the road again...

Judi's mom arrived last night for the week, and I'm leaving this afternoon for Kansas City. Those two things are not directly related, except that Judi finally managed to talk Dot into visiting (I think the heat in Desert Hot Springs compared to our 65 degree weather had something to do with it). Foggy here...while the forecast LOW during the whole time I'll be in KC is 74...Oh well, it could be worse...I had the chance to go to Waco this week...

More RSVPs over the weekend...which is cool...Now that the party is becoming a reality, I really have to start working on the details...

Last night's dinner was Frank's Lamb, with a 2002 Vincent Arroyo Winemaker's Reserve Napa Valley Petite Syrah...we opened it about an hour before drinking to let it "age" a bit...yum...

Is money really the issue?

My friend Margaret Marcuson who writes on church leadership, said in a recent blog:

It’s no secret that many churches and pastors are worried about money nowadays. But Edwin Friedman used to say, “The issue is never the issue.” He meant that issues and problems which are perennial in church life, or the latest hot-button challenge, are really primarily a focus for people’s anxiety. We live in highly anxious times, and there’s a lot of free-floating anxiety around. Somehow we attach it to certain issues. In church life a few are favorites: music, children and youth ministry. And, of course, money. As one pastor said, “There always seems to be an exclamation point when money is involved.”
Of course there are genuine financial challenges that must be faced. Bills must be paid. Staff must receive their salaries. The endowment must be managed. Budgeting must be done (and sometimes cuts must be made). But if we can delete that exclamation point and stay calm even when others are anxious, we’ll provide better leadership and the church will make better decisions about financial matters.

One of the things that is especially true about this year is that I have to deal with money issues. Not the kind you are thinking... More along the lines of "spend it, because I may not get to 64, or save it because I may get to 93." I think Margaret's last point is well made. There are bills to be paid, and budgeting must be done, but there's also a party to plan, and this year I'm resolved to not be anxious about it. We'll see how that goes as the year progresses.

That also goes for the wine closet, and so this year is a year we're going to be drinking a lot of the "saved" "good stuff." Last night's menu: turkey burgers. Wine: 2004 Preston Syriah-Sirah. Great wine, but a little young yet. We've got another bottle, and it would be exceptional in about a decade.

Wow! RSVPs already!

Thanks to  the folks who've already let me know they are planning to come to the party...it gives me incentive to keep sending it out to the rest of my list, which seems to grow bigger each day as I remember people who I hope will attend...

Save the Date

As I mentioned yesterday, I've decided to have a big party to celebrate the 64 milestone. I haven't figured out the details yet, but I'm going to start sending this to people on my list over the weekend...so save the date...

I am an owl

One of the things that seemed to settle in early in my life is that I stay up late.  It may have started when I lived across the street from my elementary school, and I would stay up late reading, and just get up in time to make the dash across the street to school (the picture is the view of the school from our front yard). It certainly got to be a habit when I was in junior high and high school because I was playing gigs regularly...as many as 5 nights a week, but most weekends. In those days you played from 9 to 1, so there were many times I would be eating in Eddie's coffee shop on Charter Way at 3:30 in the morning. Then there was college...and then I was an academic, and didn't have to teach a class before 11am, and then I've been self-employed pretty much since. I can get up early, but I have trouble going to bed before midnight. I know that's probably not good for my health, but I've learned that I don't need that much sleep...until one day I crash, and sleep 10 hours. So my party will probably last late into the night. What party? I spent time yesterday designing the "Save the Date" notice. More about that tomorrow...

The "Organ Recital" vs. "I'm Fine"

I have a couple of observations about what happens when people get older, one of which is that they tend to talk about their aches, pains, and surgeries...a lot. One of my favorite writers, Jon Carroll, talked about this phenomenon in a recent SF Chronicle column:

"As I get older, I know more and more people who've had heart attacks or cancer scares or, well, death. It's just nature's way of reminding you that the next generation would like a little more space. I now know what a stent is and what it does, and I know about exploratory surgery. I know I have been lucky, but I do not expect to be lucky forever.
I have read an actuarial table. I know my chances of seeing the 2050 World Series are essentially zilch. I know the Giants' chances of playing in it are only a little better.
I notice the changes in my conversation. At Tracy's mother's nursing home, they used to call such exchanges "organ recitals" and banned them from lunch. But what the hell. Suddenly, late in life, you learn a great deal about the pancreas. Living is an educational experience, particularly the last bit."

You can read the whole article here: http://is.gd/drSd6

But, you see, I have this problem...I hate "doctor talk," especially "organ recitals," and so I make a big deal about telling people that I don't want to hear it. For a lot of old people, that removes about 90% of their typical conversational repartee...and they don't know what to do.

And, now that I've started this blog, I expect that people will want to talk to me about their own aches and pains as a fellow traveler in the process of growing old. Please don't!  Because if you do, I'm quite likely to faint. Seriously.

I first shared this tendency in public in a summer school class along about the seventh grade. I knew science was going to be a problem for me, so I decided to get it out of the way by taking it during summer school...less time spent on the topic, and much less focus on anything but the nice (hot!) weather outside by everybody...students and teacher alike. So we get to the quick swipe at biology, and I was hanging in there until we got to the circulatory system. The next thing I knew, I was looking up at a bunch of concerned faces from my prone position on the floor. My reward? I got to spend the next few days in the library doing a report on suntan...sigh...burned skin...another one of my favorite topics...

And long before I was aware of my "problem," I was also cognizant of one of the things you'll hear from pretty much everyone in my family: the "standard answer." It is quite simple, really. When someone asks you how you are, you say "I'm fine." Because most people don't really want to hear how you are anyway. Asking about how you are is a conversational device. For a while there, I was somewhat argumentative, and my response was "Do you really want to know?" People got off put by that...a lot...so I went back to the standard family answer. My uncle Lloyd said that to the day he died...even while he was in the hospital...my mother too, until she became too weak to speak.

So let's just leave it at that, OK? I don't want no stinkin' "organ recitals," and, when it comes to how I'm doing, or how I feel..."I'm fine."

When I'm 64

For reasons I'll get to in a minute, I'm starting a new blog. I'm not abandoning the old one...far from it. It's just that I need to blog about another topic, and I've decided that this is a better place to do it. This post is cross-posted on both blogs, but after this one, you'll have to subscribe here in order to read more about today's topic.


The new blog is When Vern is 64. I tried to get the name "When I'm 64," but, of course, that was taken...duh...sigh...


As you can imagine, the title implies that I'm not that age...and I'm not. But, as of last week, I'm knocking on the door. And 64 is a very important age to me, and the reasons have little to do with the Beatles tune. If you are a close friend or a member of my family, you know what is coming. It is a little scary to tell this story in public, but I've decided that I have to do this, if only because it will be easier to tell the story once rather than lots of times over the next year. It is a story I've lived with for a long time. Some of it is hearsay. Some of it is recollection. Some of it may not be factual, if you did the research. But whether or not all of it is true on paper, it is very true to me. It has become part of who I am. In fact, some of my family believe that I obsess about it. I don't think so, but the story as I know it affects me daily, and it governs how I live. So I need to tell it in public, if only to put it in perspective...


I am an only child, and my parents were not young when I was born. As a result, a lot of their lives, including family stuff, had played out by the time I turned 21. It turns out that on both sides of my family, the prevailing cause of death is an unexpected heart attack. When you survey the death certificates of all of my parents siblings, it is unusual to find someone (like my mother, for instance) who died from something else.


But there is more to it than that. My father was an amateur genealogist, so he compiled family histories...going back to sometime in the late 17th century on his side, and to the early 18th century on my mom's side. And those records bear out the pattern. Heart attack. Statistically speaking, I am a walking cardiac arrest time bomb.


But there is more to it than that. My dad was the youngest child. He had two brothers. As you can guess, they both died of heart attacks, in birth order. When my dad's immediate older brother died, at the age of 62, my father was 61. Being a naturally curious sort, he checked the records, and figured out that no male member of his family had ever lived past the age of 63. Within 6 months of his brother's death, my dad sold his business, and transitioned into retirement.


He lived to be 93...survived my mom by 10 years...and died of old age, although his heart stopped unexpectedly, so I consider the cause of his death to be a heart attack.


I was 22 when my dad retired. Because he was 40 years older than me, and because he told me the story, I lived for many years with the knowledge that my time with him would be precious. To my knowledge he never let the information affect how he lived, day-to-day. But the information affected how he lived, day-to-day. Life was precious, and not to be wasted. There were things to do, places to see, knowledge to discover, and people to meet.


From the time I was 22, I had a great model (in my opinion) of what retirement should be. I saw first-hand the value of trading time for money, and so I quit chasing dollars.


At the same time, it made me old. (I missed middle age. I was 65 until I turned 50, and then I made a deliberate decision to be 29. The rest of my life.) From the earliest time I can remember, I was around older old people (with the exception of my cousins, and while I was in the classroom). It was weird, in a way. I knew I had to retire early, because otherwise I wasn't going to get the chance to retire. (My target retirement date was my 50th birthday, but it didn't quite work out that way. I had to wait until I was 52. Yes...I know that I am the publisher of a magazine now, and the company includes a couple of websites, and streaming audio channels, and it seems like I'm not retired, but, in my mind, I am, and that's a different story.)


In any event, I looked at life through old peoples' glasses, so to speak. I was an angry old man in an angry young man's body. I dreaded turning 62, even when I was 25. I began a mid-life crisis of sorts at 29, which made it even worse...I figured my new "termination" age was 58...great...


But of course, if you were paying attention, you remember that I said my dad lived to be 93. So at some point along the way, I figured I would plan as if I was going to live to be 93, but live like I was going to die at 63. I have not regretted that decision.


But now I am 63, and my biological clock is really ticking.


This blog will be about knowing the statistical probabilities, taking into account the statistical deviation of my parent's deaths, and looking a big milestone straight in the eye. It will be about planning for the potential of my demise in less than 365 days, yet living as if I will grow older than my father. And celebration. It is an odd conflict of interest, and I am sure that it will be interesting to go through it.


Just to be clear...I've not been diagnosed with some fatal disease. This is more along the lines of "enjoy life...you don't get out of it alive anyway."


It is appropriate that I start the new blog on my daughter's birthday. It is my intent to blog as close to daily as possible, and finish when I hit 64. I welcome your interest in my journey, and comments are always appreciated. Thanks for listening. Now, at least on my dotdotdotblog, it is back to your normal programming.


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